Fantasy Vs. Reality

All of us grew up with some or the other story from our childhood- the fairy tales of prince and princesses or the action filled stories of heroes destroying villains. Even if years have passed by, these stories do exist in our minds- in some dark corner, just waiting to be recollected. Some of us just remember the morals of these stories and some the magic of them being told. Story telling is quite an art that ought to be appreciated; it could be via novels, movies, comics or just plain oration.

No matter how old we grow, there comes a time often in life- everyday to some, where we just want to forget everything that's happening in our real life, all the pressures of daily life. Some might prefer watching TV and relaxing while others might enjoy a good solid nap. As for me, I prefer getting into a whole other world, the one in my mind where I can experience nothing but bliss. This is where our fantasy world comes in- a world where a person can be anyone they want to be, a world of your dreams, a world so created just for you. Am not talking just about a fantasy world here, am talking about the freedom that goes with it.

Now, just to be clear I know where to draw the line between reality and fantasy. I don't live in a fantasy world either but I can't help thinking how imagine-native and free it would be to live in such a world. I feel an attraction (for the lack of a better word) to some of the stories because I know that most stories have a happy ending and that this is only possible in fiction. Many of the concepts that we like about fiction- the drama, suspense, romance are sometimes only possible in the stories we read and see. Most of us do go through these emotions in daily life too but it's only in these fictitious stories that we find fulfillment rather than real life.

I, for one, am a huge, obsessive fan of certain stories which most people consider childish. But no matter how old I get the magic of these stories never fade from my mind. If people think you have childish tastes, well, let them think so. At least you admit that you have an inner child and never allow that child to fade away. We have to be an adult when the times call for it of-course, but our inner child ought to take the reins now and then- it keeps us more alive.

I recently came across a picture on a social website. It had a young boy walking next to a wall in semi-darkness and his shadow on the wall but in the shadow he appeared to be holding a sword and defending himself from a flying dragon. The caption to go with this picture was " My life is so much more interesting in my imagination". This picture is the true depiction of most of us want to see our lives. Living in the fantasy world is not always crazy, it's a kind of freedom which gives us so much happiness and strength.

One of my favorite quotes from the Pirates of Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is,

Jack Sparrow: When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time.

Elizabeth: And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Spanish Main.

Jack Sparrow: Not just the Spanish Main, love. The entire ocean. The entire wo'ld. Wherever we want to go, we'll go. That's what a ship is, you know. It's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs but what a ship is... what the Black Pearl really is... is freedom.

To echo Captain Sparrow's words, to live in the world of fantasy, is true freedom. It could be any world  you choose it to be- it could be the magical world of Harry Potter or Narnia, it could be the colorful and capturing world of the various comics of which Sheldon Cooper is a huge fan , it could be the fantasy world full of good pirates as the Pirates of Caribbean, it could be the fun filled world of Friends, it could be the amazing world of Lord of the rings or the mysterious world paranormal. These are some of the worlds I've mentioned but there are thousand's more out there. There has to be some or the other kind of fantasy that captures everybody's attention.

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” 
― Albert Einstein

In conclusion, I would like to say that all of us have an inner child that relates to fantasy and as we grow old most of us forget or ignore this part of us. One should never let go of this feeling of inner child and try to give it a free rein once in a while in daily life, rather than have a rigid control over everything you do. Being an adult tends to take a toll on most of us, it affects everything we think and do. To lose yourself in these fantasy worlds and let go freshens you up and helps to relax you.

Reading about fiction not only helps in making you smarter, but helps you to improve your imagination and creativity as well. Watching fantasy movies or animation makes you want to get into that world but it also takes you back to your childhood memories.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” 

To Change Or Not To Change

When we talk about any country progressing, we mean every aspect of it- technology, infrastructure, fashion etc. A new topic has been added to this list in the recent years- culture.

I recently came across a short movie which depicts the life of an Indian child who grows up in America following their customs and rituals. This little boy has no idea about his ancestry or his country- he even refuses to talk in the Indian language spoken at home though he understands it, as it's insisted that he speaks in English at his school. In the fast forward of the movie, the little boys grows up to marry another Indian based American and they are blessed with a son. This little boy has a project at school where he needs to talk about his ancestry. His parents are dumbstruck for a while as they themselves do not know much about India. It takes a long time for the father to even remember his grandfather's name and the name of the language that they used to speak. The basic point of the movie was to point out that the Indians in other countries do not give much importance to their languages and culture.

I wouldn't say there is much of a change when it comes to people living in India either. Some of the people do insist on talking in their language. But most schools here insist on children speaking in English and they do give little or no importance to the native languages. Most schools even have an option to study the foreign languages. The only difference is that they study about their history in schools than another country's.

Now none of this is wrong now, is it?We are at the stage where "The most constant thing in life is change".
The present generation is in such a confused state of mind that no one can say if the rules and culture we are following is originated from our own ancestry or influenced from the exposure to the western world through books and movies.

What I am trying to point out is that most of us are being torn apart in every way,in every aspect of life.
Should we follow our dreams as they seem to do so in the English movies or should we do what everyone tells us to do? Should we wear something a little westernized cloths to work places and functions or be ethnical as our ancestors used to?The question of weather to follow the old or new culture comes into everything we do now-from the food  we eat to the cloths we wear, from naming kids to decorating our rooms.

The result of all this?Create your own version for everything that confuses you. Yes, people will talk and Yes, you've no real answer for them other than asserting your independence and blame it on the generation gap. But the truth be told, we have no choice. You want to be the good child that your parents are so proud of but you aren't happy at all or be the person you see in the western movies but be scorned at. The world always looks at you like there are the best critics of your life. So, go out there and be yourself. Thirty years down the road you do not want to someone unhappy-who was too scared to make a decision and is regretting it now.

Am not saying we should let go of our traditions or follow the western ones. No, not at all. All am saying is we should do what is right by us and not follow anything or anyone blindly as expected. The traditions that we have now weren't always like this. Anything you see around you has been evolved from what it was thousand's of years-since the beginning of civilization. So, basically we are already following the changed rules but we ought to keep the our old traditions as alive as we can.

"We want something new but cannot let go of the old - old ideas, beliefs, habits, even thoughts.   We are out of contact with our own genius. Sometimes we know we are stuck; sometimes we  don't. In both cases we have to DO something."

 In conclusion, I'd just like to say that we are generation that has a bit of everything. A bit of old and a bit of new, a bit of tradition and a bit of modernization, a bit of this and a bit of that. Don't let go of anything-your ancestry, your culture, the new modern age views. Go by your judgement, nobody else matters.

No matter of who thinks what, be proud of who you are. As they say, there's no one more superior or inferior to you. The world treats you as you treat the world. Always remember that the world is very fickle minded and won't remember you for long. 

I-M-PERFECT

Some of you would have read the title of this blog as "I am Perfect" and the others as "Imperfect". I honestly have no idea what that says about a person. Maybe it would mean something to those who read it.

Am not going to bore you with the psycho-analysis of "glass is half full or half empty"(mostly because I don't know anything about that sort of analysis). I have thought about this topic long and hard. I want to share my view with others. I might be wrong of-course, but I would still like you to read my views completely before forming an opinion about it.

I can't speak for everybody but what this blog says comes from my observation on myself and a few close friends.

Everybody has things or qualities about themselves that they either love or hate. Could be to do with their looks, their possessions, their jobs, their attitude towards others or their outlook on life. It's quite natural of-course. A person might hate a particular thing about themselves but it would seem that the others love the very same thing about that person-the vice versa of this could be true as well.

More often then not the phrase "Grass is greener on the other side" comes into play. In some ways this is a good situation as it would put them on the road to better themselves, but not so good in many other ways.

There are people who think they are super perfect. But in reality they are lying to themselves and the rest of the world. Everybody is prefect and imperfect in their own unique way. That's what makes each and every one of us so special. Sure, some people seem to be more admired than you are, some are more popular among friends than you are, but atleast you are being honest with yourself. You don't have to pretend to be someone perfect to get people to like you. Even if you do make friends this way there's no chance this kind of friendship could last for any amount of time. But if being honest makes loyal and true friends then that should be your option. If people are only friends with you because you are perfect then your life is better off without them.

Perfection is the most imperfect thing on earth. Don't waste your time trying to please others with something. They might be friendly at that instant of time but remember that you are taking all this effort to impress someone who might disapprove of the very thing that you changed for them. What am trying to say is once you change something to impress someone, you might have to change something or the other over and over again until your unique identity is lost amongst the lies you so carefully concocted.

Sometimes in some relations you do have to change certain things about yourselves but relationships works both ways. If you change something for family or friendship to sail more smoothly, make sure the other person change as much as well without both sides losing their identities.

Nobody is totally perfect. Everybody has their own quirks, that's what makes them so unique.
Habits like that annoying little voice you use when talking to some people or having a bulbous nose or having to look over somebody shoulder every-time  due to your shortness or that little extra weight you have been  carrying around are all part of it. What you find so annoying about yourself might be the very thing everybody around you admires in you, it's just that you refuse to accept the true beauty of the gift you have been given naturally. The best relations are those where you are accepted by the person just as you are without any change and with all your quirks intact.

"The sooner you accept that you are special and unique, the easier your life becomes."

"A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself and  especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he/she really is.” 

You have been these particular features or qualities for a reason. Don't try to analyse the reason, but try to enjoy whatever life has given you. You have been given this life, it's a gift. Don't waste it trying to impress people around you. The world is fickle minded-you do something, they talk; you don't do something, they talk. Whatever happens, be honest with yourself. It's your life and you have the right to live it the way you want without being judged by anybody.

Am not saying that trying to be perfect is wrong, but not at the cost of hurting yourself and others in the process. Be yourself, love yourself just the way you are. You might not be perfect in the eyes of the world but the world, like I said is fickle minded and will forget you in seconds but true relations and friends won't and will last forever. 

Unforgettable vacation...

By writing this blog am not trying to boast or brag, this is basically for sharing my views and experiences I had during my short but brief stay in the USA.

Like every other person I too have many people residing in other countries in the world. And just like every other person I too had a wish to go to these places someday, if not to admire but atleast to quench my curiosity as to why people love it so much there compared to our own beautiful homeland. One such place was the USA. Generally when people say they from the US it somehow seems to have a much higher significance compared to the other countries, atleast that's how I felt about it. I always had the presumption that if I ever did go to any foreign country, I would still be loyal to mine and would always be proud of India. I was not mistaken but my views about the situation has changed by an enormous degree.

Between the time I finished my final semester's exams and took my up job I took a complete break to visit the US. Since this was my first ever journey to be embarked alone I was terribly excited and could hardly contain myself. Only as I walked out of the airport of SFO did the fact hit me that I was on the other side of the world. In a matter of mere 24 hours my complete world-the world which I had grown accustomed to so far in life was half way across the globe.

The first thing that I observed about this new place was its neatness and the need to maintain the discipline. I was completely enthralled by the lane decipline and traffic rules I saw there. For someone who has lived in India all her life this was a nice surprise to experience. Just the fact that you could drive at such a high speed itself had me wondering if our country would ever have this kind of freedom and this kind of system.

Coming to my first outing there-I went to a mall,one of the biggest in the area. I accept, I haven't seen many malls here in India but I was amazed by size and splender of the malls there. Even the smallest of malls consists of hundreds of stores. The more you looked around,the more there was to see. The stores themselves are so different-the kind of clothes,food,other products-so very different to what I was used to.
It was a whole new experience to even just stand and look around-felt like I was part of a Hollywood set.

Not just the malls-everywhere else I went to made me realise that these places are beautiful and neat because the people take the responsibility to keep it so. They do not expect things to be done for them all the time,but rather get it done themselves-from keeping the roads and surroundings clean to repairing the houses, the people living there do it themselves-labour being costly could be one reason but beyond that there's the enthusiasm to do the job themselves.

Coming to the people living there, I always felt a little wary of even talking to one before but now I've been forced to change my point of view about them. Everywhere I went the people were extremely sweet and helpful. Not a hint of scorn touched their faces when asked for help or otherwise. I've read and seen in many movies where people state that America is a free country and today I totally accept it. Being from the largest democratic country in the world I'm friends with people from different religions and languages-which am very proud of, but to mingle with so many different races and religions with no reservations whatsoever completely overwhelmed any prejudice I might have had against them.

Yes, I had a major cultural shock when I saw them for the first time and yes, I scorned at them for it but I've come to realise that as much as our culture means to us, their's mean to them. Initially it takes a while to get used to and once you accept it life gets easier. Afterall,most of us are already used to most of this from the Hollywood movies and books that we read. I am not saying we should follow their path, though slowly but surely I see India moving in that direction, we should respect their culture and ways of socialising. Just as we follow the path of lives laid out by our ancestors, they follow what they were taught by theirs.

I was there was a little over a month and had the time of my life. I visited various places and observed the place as well as the people.

Once I returned to India, I was asked many times by many people if I preferred living there or here. This caused me to ponder for a while before I answered. The next time someone asked me the same question my reply was both-in certain ways(though that would be my fantasy land). I love India way too much as this is my motherland but I can't help but wish for our country to be more like western countries- not in terms of culture but in terms of cleanliness and health awareness. Our's is the oldest civilisation known to mankind and should be preserved. I would still prefer India over any other country any day.

As much I pride on our culture and the decipline there, neither of the lands are perfect. There are pros and cons to living in either of the places and I feel this statement holds good for any other place on earth as well. Some people might say this sounds like "grass is greener on the other side". I agree to an extent that this statement is true but think about it- if you lived here all your life you would complain all the time about the poverty and corruption here and if you lived there, you would always feel your kids are missing out on the culture, warmth of the homeland you grew up with and be more polite to elders. No country really is perfect-it's upto the citizens to take responsibility to make it so.

I had the most amazing vacation of my life and forever will rememeber my experiences there.

I would like to conclude by saying that where ever you live try to see the positives of the place rather than the negatives. Yes,I hate slumdog millionaire for showing India in such poor light but it's upto us to show them that we are so much more than that. I love my India. Jai Hind!!!

Memories...........

Everybody's got amazing memories from their childhood,I do too:)

Honestly speaking I don't remember many things that happened to me back then but I sometimes get flashes of them-vivid,colourful n happy thoughts-almost seems like a dream now.Always wished i could go back in time to go through those experinces again but at the same time I hope my wish doesn't come true.While going through the same experiences might give me a lot more memories it might just lose it's sweetness.Who knows?Going into the past might even affect our present lives.As much as I regret some of my past decisions I don't think it's wise to mess with time or memories.

I've been told I was a very naughty child-all the time jumping over things and breaking them.Always used to getting trouble at school and fighting with my sister all the time.I was always in the middle of any kind of arguement or debate and was very reluctant to agree with things that I was supposed to just because I was supposed to do so.But inspite of all this I've always been on the positive side of thinking about everything.Some say I'm a born diplomat-I'm no such thing conciously.I just try to be myself with everybody and as far as i see,it seems to be working well.

Coming back to memories,I think it's not exactly important to  remember every single detail of it.But it's very important for us to choose the right friends at that point of time.These could be the friends we make for life.The best part of childhood friendship is that we don't think so much about making friends with them.Nothin matters-language,religion,age.People might say this is true even now,that it's better now but then think about it,if u're meeting someone new now would u make friends as quickly as you did back then?If anyone says yes,the percentage would be very less compared to those who say no.Friendships made back then were pure and naive.Therefore we could trust them more and they're the best of listeners too.But the best part of it is that we don't have to explain ourselves to them about anything.If we're upset or if we've had an arguement-they jus know something's wrong without us telling them,I still don't understand how it happens but it just does.We do have little fights with our friends all the time-agreed,but that's no reason to break off the beautiful relation and glare at opposite ends.Forgive and forget is said to be best quote but friendship is beyond this particular line,it doesn't need forgiveness.If they truely were your friend they would know you didn't mean what u said or they might realise they were wrong.What I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't have to apologise in friendship.It's the most sacred and beautiful thing on earth.Not everybody has the privilege of having good friends and certainly not everybody gets to choose their friends.Be wise in whom u choose as they play a very important role in your life.

Now I've a lot of very good friends in college too,nothing against you guys but i'm just trying to emphasise that the friendship developed during the early days in life are the ones to stay in your mind for longer.I'm sure many might not agree with me but it's just my view. My coll frnds rock too.I'm seriously gonna miss u people,pls do keep in touch.

Ok,that's my first ever blog and hopefully more to come soon.